Never Retreat
by Starfire Eld
Summary: After the deaths of the other three girls, Homura is considering just ending it all. But then she meets a foreign boy with a message for her...a boy that calls himself Atem.


**Okay, this was a story request by Nintendoman58 from ****_months_**** ago, and I just couldn't figure out how to do it. I'm still not totally happy with it. Like, at all. And I'm sorry, but they don't end up dueling, because I'm really bad at writing duels and making them sound interesting. This gets really depressing, too. But I did my absolute best, and I didn't want to make you want any longer, so here's the story!**

* * *

_Craaack. Craaack. Shiff, shiff, shiff._

Shuffling cards. It was amazing how fast he was doing it. She could barely see his fingers, but for a soft, bronze blur. The motion was mesmerizing. It took her eyes away from the small purple gem swirling with bits of black gunk resting in her hand.

It took her eyes away from the handgun she had just been pointing at it.

He appeared to be the only other person in the park. His being here was what was making her hesitate. Because of the demons starting to congregate here, most people had instinctively avoided it. Oh, they might have made excuses: appointments they suddenly remembered, friends that stopped them on the street, the looming clouds that looked like rain. But the truth was that although humans couldn't see, feel, or become aware of the demons' existence, they just knew on some level that they were there.

But he was there. Shuffling his cards, without a care in the world, it seemed. He didn't see her. She was up in a tree, hidden by the leaves, on the other side of the path from his bench. He certainly wasn't from Mitakihara. His skin was tan by ethnicity, not by time in the sun. His hair stuck up in thick black spikes that gleamed slightly red along the edges, and his bangs were a startling gold. Crimson eyes that should have looked eerie had a certain softness to them instead. They looked like they belonged in his face.

The heft of the gun in her hand seemed to get a little heavier. Her eyes closed for just a brief moment, and not for the first time, she wished that she wouldn't have to open them again. The blessed darkness slipped around her, and she imagined falling blissfully into nothingness, where this ache in her heart didn't exist, and the longing, always the longing, had finally ended.

"Madoka," she whispered.

Without opening her eyes, she moved the gun to tap the gem again. She could feel it, an eerie sense of being brushed against, whenever she touched the jewel. Just one small motion. It could end. No, no, no. She couldn't do this. Madoka would never forgive her. But...Madoka...Homura couldn't wait anymore. She couldn't sit here and continue to watch everyone die around her. Sayaka – disappeared, without even a body to give her closure. Mami – the horrible, horrible burns that crisscrossed her back in the moments before she, too, faded. And Kyoko...Homura didn't want to think about Kyoko. Her finger tightened on the trigger. But no, that boy would hear the gun shot. But did it even matter? She would disappear before he could find her.

At first, she didn't know what made her freeze up. Then she realized it was because the sound of the shuffling deck had stopped, rather abruptly.

She glanced down. The boy was drawing the top card of his deck. He frowned for a moment. He returned the card to the deck, cut it a few more times, and drew again. This time, a smile tugged at his lips. Homura shifted, curious in spite of herself. The gun dropped to her side.

"'Dunames Dark Witch,'" the boy said aloud.

Homura jumped, and cursed softly at herself. He wasn't talking to her, obviously. He hadn't even looked at her. He must just be thinking out loud.

"'Even when all odds are against this brave fairy, she will press onwards in battle and never retreat,'" he said.

He paused.

"Remind you of anyone?"

This time, Homura nearly fell out of the tree. The boy was looking straight up at her – he was talking to her. Homura didn't move for a moment. In a second, all the possibilities ran through her head: a trap, an enemy, a random stranger striking up a conversation.

_He's a boy_, she chastised herself. _He can't be a Puella Magi. He's no threat._

She hesitated a moment longer.

"Not particularly," she said, in answer to his question.

The boy blinked. He smiled slightly.

"It's hard to crane my neck all the way up there. Want to come down here?"

He gestured to the empty space beside him on the bench.

_No, I don't want to come down there, _Homura thought. But then, she really couldn't think of a reason not to. He seemed polite enough. And even if he did have less than noble intentions, she could probably overpower him without even transforming. And hadn't she been considering killing herself a few moments earlier? It would be almost easier to let someone else do the job.

With a graceful flick of her hair, Homura slid down to the branch below, and the next branch, until she landed lightly on the path. The gun vanished from her hand as she did so, and the Soul Gem returned to a ring on her finger. She sat down, and tilted her head back to look at him more clearly.

His eyes really were a startling red.

"Are you by any chance related to someone called Kyoko Sakura?" she asked.

"I doubt it," he said. "I'm not from here."

"I didn't think so," Homura said.

Kyoko didn't have any living relatives, of course. And she herself was gone, dead three days past. But looking into those red eyes had stirred old memories of the harsh, apple-red eyes of the trash-talking red head. Homura's hands twitched towards fists in her lap, but she stilled the motion.

"So, who are you?" she asked.

"My name is Atem," he said.

He did not offer a surname.

"Just Atem?"

He just smiled. Homura blinked slowly at him.

"I'm Homura," she said.

"Nice to meet you."

"You as well, I suppose."

She glanced at the deck of cards in his hand. They weren't a normal deck of cards. The backs were brown with a black oval in the center. And the one he held face up bore the image of an angel-like woman with almost metallic wings. It was labeled _Dunames Dark Witch._

"What are those?" she asked.

"Duel Monsters cards. Have you ever played?"

It sounded vaguely familiar, perhaps something someone had mentioned in a class? But Homura had spent so much time in the hospital, and then focusing on Madoka's safety, that she couldn't remember such mundane details.

"I don't think I've ever heard of it."

"That's too bad. This is my favorite game," Atem said.

"Were you looking for someone to play with you?"

He laughed softly.

"Well, that's always a nice bonus," he said. "But no. I'm sort of just sitting with my thoughts today."

"And I'm not intruding?"

Atem leaned his elbows on his knees.

"Well, I wouldn't have called you over here if that was the case, now would I?"

Homura shrugged.

Her eyes wandered across the park. The miasma was getting thicker. The smell of rust was now tinged with the hint of something burning. The demons would arrive soon.

She glanced sidelong at him. He wasn't looking at her. He was staring at the cards again. There was a new one in his hand, a small person dressed in white robes titled _Silent Magician_. Atem's eyebrows had softened. A sad, longing look flickered in his eyes, softening the otherwise intimidating crimson.

"Is that card important?" she asked.

Atem blinked, as though he had forgotten she was there.

"Oh, yes," he said. "It reminds me...of a friend I had once."

Homura's heart panged.

"I'm...sorry," she said.

Her hands tightened in her lap.

"What was your friend's name?" she asked.

"Yugi," Atem said. "Yugi Mutou."

He leaned back against the bench, slinging one arm over the back. His eyes glinted in the orangey sun.

"There was Anzu, too. Anzu Mazaki. Hiroto Honda. Katsuya Jonouchi. Ryo Bakura. Marik, Ishizu, and Rishid Ishtar. Seto and Mokuba Kaiba. So many people...that I won't see..."

The lump in Homura's throat grew to the size of softball, nearly suffocating her. Her nails dug into her palm. More than ever right then, she wished she hadn't hesitated. All she wanted to do was sink into the ground and let this terrible existence end.

"Sorry," Atem said. "I don't mean to shove all my angst on you."

"No," Homura choked out. "Don't be...sorry. Please."

Atem tilted his head towards her. Homura could barely speak.

"Sayaka Miki," she whispered. "Mami Tomoe. Kyoko Sakura. M-Madoka Kaname."

She tried her hardest, but fat tears began to escape the corners of her eyes.

"S-see?" she said, trying to force a smile. "I have a list of people, too."

She literally almost choked on her tears.

_Sayaka's Soul Gem splitting down the middle, spewing thick black water like blood. Kyoko tossing her Soul Gem into the air, smiling as it shattered. Mami staring, frozen in place as those razor sharp teeth closed around her. Madoka, laying dead in a puddle of water. Madoka screaming as her soul was ripped up into a thick black fog. Madoka raising her Soul Gem up, smiling as Homura pulled the trigger –_

She didn't realize that Atem was holding her hand until she felt a slight burn from him touching her Soul Gem. She jerked her hand away instinctively. He didn't flinch, or look slighted. He just half-smiled.

He put his arms over the back of the bench, and looked up into the setting sun. Homura folded her hands in her lap and stared at them. They shook slightly.

"Do you believe in an afterlife?"

The question startled Homura enough to make her look up from her hands.

"What?"

"An afterlife. Do you believe there is one?"

She thought of that strange place between places, where she had seen Madoka for the last time.

"Well...I'd like to hope so."

Atem smiled, but this time it was broader.

"Here's a secret," he said. "I know there is one."

Homura frowned.

"Don't make me feel worse than I already do," she said.

"No, you're misunderstanding me. There _is_ an afterlife. All those people you mentioned, all the ones I mentioned, we'll get to see them again. It's the truth."

Almost unconsciously, his hands came back over the bench and he started to shuffle his cards again.

_Craaack. Craaack. Shif, shif, shif._

"Stop saying things like that."

"But doesn't it make you feel better? Knowing that they're waiting for you."

"No, it only makes me feel worse!"

The words ripped out of her with more force than she intended. She burst up to her feet.

"This world – can't you see how utterly broken it is? Can you imagine that I would want to be here for even one more second knowing that there is something better – someone waiting for me? Do you think that knowing I have to sludge through this hell with that light so far away it seems unreachable gives me hope?"

The miasma tightened, and the demons burst into life.

Instantly, a heaviness dragged over Homura. She could barely breathe. She knew this feeling; it had happened every time she fought the demons. They fed on negativity, were born from it, and created more of it in their prey.

But she had never felt their effects this strongly.

_I want to die_, she thought, but she wasn't sure if it was her own thought or the demons'. The gun reappeared in her hand. She was moving it to her Soul Gem.

A hand gripped her shoulder.

"There are terrible things in the world. I won't deny that."

A light was growing beneath Homura's vision. Atem's red eyes met hers.

"But we have to take them alongside the good things. We wouldn't be who we are without the sorrow."

"It hurts," Homura whispered. "My heart hurts."

Atem nodded.

"So does mine."

And then the light sliced through the miasma. The demons screeched – and were vaporized. The thick rust smell started to disappear. Homura could breathe again. More than that, she could think again. What was that light?

She turned slowly around. A tall woman all in white stood there. At first, she thought it was Madoka. But no, this woman had white hair and there was all sorts of gold and jewels to decorate her dress. She blinked once, and disappeared.

Homura turned to face Atem again. He was returning a card to his deck, and she only got a glimpse of the name: _Tethys, Goddess of Light._

She bit the inside of her lip hard. Her hand gripped the gun so tightly it was leaving imprints.

"I still don't want to live," she said.

"Are you going to tell me that you can't remember even one good thing in this world? Even one thing worth living for?"

_Mami giving her another slice of cake – "You're so skinny! You need to eat more, Akemi-chan!" Sayaka punching her on the shoulder, laughing at some stupid joke she had made. Kyoko dragging her into the arcade and forcing her to play DDR. Madoka flinging her arms around her as they dissolved into hysterical, post-fight giggles._

"_What a nice ribbon! If I had a daughter, I would make her wear that," Junko said._

"_Ma-do-ka! Ma-do-ka!" Tatsuya said, wriggling in his father's arms._

Homura stared at Atem.

"Who...are you?"

Atem grinned – a real, mischievous grin.

"I told you," he said. "My name is Atem."

He pried her fingers from the gun, making it clatter to the ground. And then he replaced it with a small slip of paper – a card?

"I know there's an afterlife. I wasn't lying about that."

He hesitated.

"Oh, and by the way," he said. "Madoka says hello."

And then he was gone. Literally, disappeared, right in front of her.

She couldn't move for a moment. When she did find her motor skills returning, the first thing she did was look at the card.

_Dunames Dark Witch. Even when all odds are against this brave fairy, she will press onwards in battle and never retreat._

Homura's lips tightened. She shook her head. And then she started to laugh. She laughed so hard that she fell over. She laughed so hard that her chest started to hurt, an amazing feat for a magical girl that felt no pain. When she could finally breathe freely again, she looked at the card once more.

"Madoka," she whispered. "Oh, you. Why can't you just be more straightforward?"


End file.
